Memories of nobody...

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

It is my failure,
to even not try stop it from happening.
But what could I have done?
From the very beginning, the trust wasn't there in you.
How could I expect something to last from that.
Maybe not stopping you is better for you after all.
You might feel less pain?
I dunno.
At least I don't like to force ppl.

However,
from the very start, you thought I was forcing you.
Lies were also the main cause.
Maybe we shouldn't have even begin was you idea.
And now I must act like nothing has happened.
I did some bad things,
and I won't be able to face you,
or ask for your forgiveness.

If only I could have let you known by 1:29 AM

Tuesday, June 12, 2007
Dust; it all into

Our paths shall never meet
Corrosion of confermity;Dust, it all into

Living for a new fate

Sentosa
A trip there with my mom was sorta boring. But my frens somehow appeared after awhile. We were stuck around palawan beach and siloso beach. Got to see a mini water spout before the rain and at night had chats till past midnight. Very simple happening.

Just kill me, I know its not time yet

Chat
Had all sorts of stuff in the conversation. Quite fun and enlightening. By now should have realised that basic 'memorising' is not enough. And the purpose for 'practise' is 'understanding'.
'Understanding' is the true mother to success. To truly understand something would make one far better than anyone whom would simply remember something with no recollection of how to do so.

As if you could do anything

Food matters
Couldnt find much food stalls to buy food from in the middle of the night. Had to walk quite a difference before we could reach 7-Eleven to buy even something to drink. And now my dinner, thank goodness is macdonalds. Had Sakae sushi for dinner last nite hehe.

Intrude my mind, and strip me of my rights

Wellness
Was already sick before I went. Now seems to get worse. Don't wanna see a doctor, but have not much choice.

Twist and turn

If only I could have let you known by 9:30 PM

Sunday, June 10, 2007
Limits; turning it away

Nothing remains forever, in due time
Don't kill my volupture; Limits, turning it away

Fight for honor, fight for life

The day before today
A few of us, namely Chee ping, Wei yang and han siang met up. We were deciding on where to go. Or should I say, I finally decided to go and find them after hearing that we might be going to marine parade. Than we went to our respective homes to change into "appropriate attire". Also met up with Wilson, Jx and Jdz to pass Wil his money.

Twisted revolutions begun again

And the evening
At about dusk we were heading off to Plaza Singapore.
Slight change in plans. I went there to finally get my FAVORITE EARPHONES!
I LOVE THIS PAIR OF CREATIVE EARPHONES! Wanted it back for two years!
After that we went for the search for the Fast Food Restuarant.
Ended up at Burger King, If i remember correctly.

Freakkish resemblance means only likeliness, not the same

The same night
And than after dinner an idea popped up to go to Marine Parade. So this time the destination remains the same, just that we walk.
Went to quite a few spots. Ended up going all over the place and the national day parade location, Esplanade, Suntec, memorial building, Funan mall. Quite havoc. At the end of the day, or I shall presume night,it was abt 11 plus. Ended not going marine parade, coz navigation screwed up and the Location of "marine parade" assumed was at somerset. SO on the way home. Took the "green line" from City hall to jurong east, than changed train(duh) to cck.

Don't imitate my resolutions

Midnight and beyond
Left with Cp, wy and me.
Had a very fun talk. They were going to "ton" below my house. So had all sorts of topics, except censored ones. Talking abt personality and stuff, and me ended up breaking the fact that I dun wanna judge. Youer popped out somewhere around 2am.. Everything lasted till 6am. Quite a fun day.

Basic instinct is different for all. As if.

Random notes
All in all. It was rather enjoyable. Watching ourselves get lost. Like the feeling of walking in the crowd. Even though I went to fast that I was way infront and started to feel abit alone, that shows that I am living in my own world, self-centred eccentric freak. But that's ok. I am. And I live up to that. What else can I live up to. Hrmm. Good question. Than somehow some pictures came to my mind. Seemed great to walk along to.

Yearning to seek your face

If only I could have let you known by 2:33 PM

Friday, June 8, 2007
Run; it all away

I'm sorry that I have such a bad memory, I can't even remember who it were...
The Cries Of The Willowing Tree;; Run, it all away

Tear it out of me, than stitch it back. What else will be left but pain

Early in the afternoon got spooked twice. My God.. Whats the world coming to?

The main problem is the one inside isn't it?

Night
Couldn't sleep last night. Have no friggin idea why. Getting bored again as usual.
Somehow this spells trouble, just that you don't spell it as "m.o.r.g.a.n".

A similar occurance, very different endings. So who is it now knocking at my front door?

Daylights
This morning my dad was at home. Should have figured. My sister screams woke me up again. From my beautiful nap. I'm a sick fella somemore. What's the point waking a sick fella who's snoozing in his air-conditioned bedroom. Can't you all just give him a break. Everyone needs their rest. I slept at 3 plus last night, not that I didn't want to sleep early, I couldn't. But well it's good that I sleep late, at least my brain won't run wild and I won't have to leave again.

You find it fun stepping all over me don't you?

Havoc
Going to jump around like a crazy loony later during badminton. Going to force my blood pressure to the max later. Maybe my veins might burst? I dunno. Just a weird feeling.

I still believed i escaped, but who was the one next to me

Random Crap
It's fun to random crap isn't it? Even my friendship test is random crap. Just that I decided to not leave any hangage clinging all over the place. Filled with misses, but all in the past. Gearing up to charge forward to the next level. Ain't gonna leave myself lagging behind when the world accelarates through. Gonna run so fast that everything around me seems to be WAY slowing down. Gonna reach that same pace again.

I should have realised I no longer can predict the weather and time

If only I could have let you known by 12:42 PM

Thursday, June 7, 2007
Dive into yourself

"What do you think you are doing!", swings off the hand as it stings the arm"

Horrible day.
Woke up with a horrible headache. Still having a horrible headache. Did my test today in school, to realise I believe I screwed up all the tests, when the cher' promised to make it easy. Than I went home to sleep. Woke up with this even bigger headache.

I don't even know whether I jumped back in from the front or the back

Looking back.
Secondary school days are much more easier! Even the subjects were all seem to be easy feat compared to my common test papers. JUST COMMON TEST T.T.

Came back out of fear; lived on out of choice

Waking up.
Just woke up to realise there is no dinner. My headache made me moody.
Don't even have a freaking idea of how to survive next. Guess I'm too lazy afterall.

Don't even ask, coz' I won't frigging know how to talk abt it

Beyond.
Somehow, getting sick and tired of what people do and what I do. When other's are unreasonable, I'm sure they find me the same. It's a vicce versa chain reaction I guess. Plus after what have happened plus the reactions which was replied due of in time it seems that it waws quite true and I was lucky enough I guess. Well my mom had a dream too that very night. HAHA she was complaining on buying the 4D number wrongly coz' pops pissed her off. Whatever. Anything. What the Fuck.

Just a simple starting led on to an unintended tragedy

This is where today my post comes to an end, just like everything which will eventually end in due time, just that when and how it ends. I'm full of random shit ain't I?

Just another thing I believed I have swore to keep to myself

If only I could have let you known by 7:25 PM

A day anew

I'm happy that someone actually did so, although it was a dream where I nearly died in.

Today is day 1 from rebirth.

Weird heading right? I feel so too. Just wanted to put it, so ya, you see it.
Brief explanation in hidden context.
Yesterday(WEDNESDAY) I woke up at abt 4.55 am. Didnt try to sleep till after 5. Peak period you see. Than woke up at 2.45 to remember I actually booked badminton court at 3. Reached there at 3.30. Than was there with Chee Ping, and Yi jie, han siang popped up. Didn't really have time to call other ppl out sorry. Than played badminton till 4. Than left because bimboitic kids booked the court. Went to buy bubbletea hehe..

Just a simple bean paste bun, and I hardly knew the person, just like it was a new friend. But all of us were being followed, and only two people knew

Than we went to the study room. Wei yang popped up. Than Wy, yj and cp was playing G.E (The Grand Ten Swords, A.K.A Granado Espada.). Don't blame me, I find it a stupid game, though I never played it before. Than went to have dinner at 7.Finally get to eat the CHICKEN CURRY RICE weets~!

A kind warning, to a passerby, "Be careful" came out from my mouth.
"Don't worry, they are being eaten up already"

So that's the simple picture of what happened. Played basketball and went home. I casualty-ed people accidently again. Than went home.That's about it so NITEZ!

Phobia of scary looking grandmas'

If only I could have let you known by 1:01 AM

Wednesday, June 6, 2007
Spoke too much(Death is near)

The freakkiest nightmare since a long time ago

I actually didn't intend till post until a long time later, but apparently those intentions were broken apart. Anyway whoever it was, I thank the person who woke me up last nite, or else I would have left..

The surrounding around me in the study room is freezing, just that I am no feeling cold. Strangely enough. Spoke too much abt electrostatic-activity and other stuff. Right now wondering where and when.

And for you who tried to pump info out of me and throw info into my, try harder

With limitied imitated gaiety I assume that this is where it all begins again. The sources of troubles all converges together and than explodes. Apparently I only told my mom what happened. She told me not to walk home alone late at night and told me to bring my talisman; I told her whats the point.

Anyway once again I shall dwelve into the deepest of valleys.

My ancestral landlord came to bring me away?! Thats unbelievable.

If only I could have let you known by 4:55 PM

Monday, June 4, 2007
Memories in the rain 2(voided existance)

My heart caught up with the storm which blew it. As my eyes follows the light, I hear the faint cries of the desolate rain.
Missing the snowflakes

Somehow, today's bus trip home was a very good one. Although usually rain brings sorrows to others, today's heavy downpour reminded me of my basic nature.
It somehow would lead to some twisted logic that I have been neglecting my basic existance all this while. Why is that so? Hell yeah if I would know. Just forgot my very basic Principles Of Nature. The rain actually made me feel better.

The OBC test today, was fairly simple, just that I forgot alot of things. How could I.. The rain.. The lightening.. The thunder.. Reminds me of alot of 'stuff' i lost.
The thoughts, and everything else, all gone.
If the past is false, so is the existance

I've been trying to erase traces of everything I had, even my previous memories and experiences. Sounds weird coming from me, but so.. Who cares. This is my chance to blabbler all i want before it closes on me again..

Inevitably, I DO miss the past. But all's in the past. Have a lot to ask for, but what's the point. I can't even clear the mess i got myself into now. What the hell rite. Frigging hell.. Tml have maths. Hope it be easy..

let bygones be bygones

More than ever, it's the same. [Me] and myself saying I want to do this, do that. Complain this, complain that. But what is true? I don't know anymore. At least I know I am not some Fhaggot which breaks with their stead cause "they will be fine" or go around glaring at ppl for no particular reason. Nor do I just get angry and shouts into someones face for no reason. But I lost myself in the process. Don't even have an idea whether was I trying to fit in, or allow the words of slithering scheming vixens sink in.

Somehow this is a LONG blog post since god knows when, and my god sounds MELODRAMATIC indeed. Some people say I'm melodramatic; others call it "anti-climax".
Whatever the case I am at lost of words, so gonna close topic for the day.

What's there to deny when one misjudge the truth all the friggin time?

If only I could have let you known by 12:58 PM

Sunday, June 3, 2007
Simplicity™

New blog skin added called "Simplicity"..

Apparentyly got so bored last nite that i went to look for more blogskins..
Also realised that i havn't finish mugging for my common tests.
So keeping posts short. Till next time, cya all.

If the world is fair, we won't have niggers! *SORRY!*

If only I could have let you known by 3:25 PM

Saturday, June 2, 2007
Wrath of two faced puppet

Today was a long day.

Went to school in the morning.

Went to buy dinner and get my bike repaired at abt 6 plus.

Reached the cc at abt 9 to go to YiJie's house.

Left his house at 10 to eat supper.

Played basketball to near 12.

Zoomed of early to have a slow cycle back home.

Missed the night life.

Reached home at abt 12.48AM.

Now here with a late midnight post, just finished my post.

Till next time, sayonara.

A moment of impulse; long lasting moments of guilt.

If only I could have let you known by 1:16 AM

Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Deathsea and the angel

Hrmm weird name indeed. Here I am at Kenneth house's.. Kinda bored. But who cares. Today was the last day of I/S and S/W in school until the next three weeks, including after the holiday. Wanted to take some html codes from my fren's site, but they removed it before I can copy it.

People all around me talking about their love-life. To me it sounds like alien. It's totally weird. It just sinks in to me with no potential sense. To put it crudely, a loser like me can't care less. I don't really play games, I don't realy watch shows, I don't really listen to songs. So it's shows what kind of life I have apparently. But who cares? No one cares? Apparently rocking off to the beat of the song at my blog. Probably one of the things which means alot, including my studies and crap. HAHA. Can tell from this post is that I a rather bored. Needs an angel haha. As if.

More than a pathetic joke

If only I could have let you known by 11:14 PM

Monday, May 28, 2007
Where one stands

Alone once more
Yoahho it's secondary school HOLIDAYS.! Just that mine is far of. Took a test I wasnt prepared for. Expecting to get full marks. HAHA.

Well they say, "Having confidence is like knowing winning half the battle". Than I say, "Over confidence is like not knowing losing half the battle". But whatever. The callous corners of the world doens't care. Technically the world doesnt have a brain to have emotions also anyway.

And so today was technically not a long day, and i figured how to do a question which i didnt know how to. Shows that I'm smart, after hanging out with smart asses.

Well going out later to kill time. I don't believe in revision anyway. So cya suckers another time ;)

Hate me, detest me, and loathe me in any other way. Torture me, kill me, and punish me. Cling on to life in a painful manner. In the end you will only hurt yourself

If only I could have let you known by 5:43 PM

Sunday, May 27, 2007
Twitless day

Today was a day, free from twits. Saw this very funny article online. Abt TWITS. Way cool. Also chatted online abt TWITS, TWIT SECONDARY SCHOOL and the language TWITTISH! Way fun. Also spiked my friend's plain water with soul juice. His facial expression at first was "Why is it so strange". Than i started laughing, which let the cat out of the bag. "Did u do something to it?". Apparently i did duh.. HAHA. Fun day.

Linking those blogs will soon under "T"

Twittish: aiyoosh.. liike tat also dunch noe mehs

If only I could have let you known by 10:56 PM

Leave your chocolate here, nino

"Naiveness"
That's so cool lor.. The camp ent according as planned for the second day, including the 'expedition'. Something good out of everything which can be celebrated. I guess so.. HaAHA JUST finished watching shiipuden 15.. Just utterly boring isnt it? Weird thing life has become. I dont noe anymore.. I seriously think i need an ambition in life. Something i really really wanna do.. I dunno.. Seems tat all i want is to hang out with frens.. Well tats all i guess for today. byes.

A new future has been created; a time phase recreated from the very future.

If only I could have let you known by 10:46 AM

Thursday, May 24, 2007
"What goes around, comes around" 2 (Karma and it's bite)

ZOE My GOD! There's wasnt "BLEACH" release yesterday. Screw them for that.. Bloody media..______

Today was a relatively "ENRICHING" day. Still doing ORGANIC COMPOUNDS. But well, thats wat my module is about, plus i sort of LOVE orgamic compounds. Touched on Benzene.. Than also got to know more abt Toluene and Phenol, but as if majority of my blog readers would noe abt tat, so lets skip that phase.

Still doing well for OBC, as a matter of fact, that seems to be the only thing i am progressins well in. Rather a quarter lost in ICBE, totally CARELESS mistakes prone of EngineeringMaths, and losing time management.. Haven started mugging, not to mention doing past-year test papers. Than going for ZSS camp tml; ZAC is required to turn up. Details which flash past my screen doesnt seem to be very positive, but, who give's a god damn? Just go la lol.. What's the point brooding abt the fact it's gonna clash.. with my beloved AIR RIFLE WEET!

well hu cares.. Had practical this morning.. Fun man.. testing on all sorts of organic compounds.. the more fun part was when we heard we need to memorise the table for prac test.. sian la.. than hand genna acid, not tat anyone knew, but hu cares.. just remembered getting shouted at a few days ago for something i didnt do, plus was by a classmate which i nvr spoke to at all.. lol.. screw tat.. had fun.. Bumped into a few frens.. Even saw nat's brother. What a day.. Life is getting busy.. Lagging behind.. Can't really catch up.. Walking at a pace which is so slow tat i will drop out. But so? Enjoy the time i have fr the moment before stuff becomes nusty.. At least i can climb stairs easily now, due to the fact that we have to scale stairs everyday HAHA..

Something I found in my brain this morning on the way to school after some comtemplation.
"The way one wants it; the way it is.
The way one see's it; the way it is.
The way one does it; the way it it.
The way a bystander see's it,
'What goes around, comes around.'"

Might look weird, but once again, who cares.. I have a bored life with no exact entertain.. More of an "ALL ALONE IMAGE" in my head. I sometimes need to get some inspiration.. And the best way is my bus trip to school on the morning. Whether I look at the gold rays, or read my notes, i will get something in my head. All sorts of ideas, solutions, answers, assumptions etc. After these things come into my head, i cant just leave it in there to rot together with my brain. MUST SHARE HAHA..

For example, a joke to criticize one's fren is, "You are so dumb, when u come near me, all my knowledge diffuses into you!".. Too much contact with my bastard frens.. I am part of them lol!. Well tat's all for today. Happy reading, no wait, this is the end, wat's left to read? hehe..

The sun and it's golden rays, what does it resemble?

If only I could have let you known by 8:36 PM

Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Undesirable

..:The cause of pain:..
Today had flag football.
Was against Shenghwa's team. Than he got the ball and run. Accidently made him fall down twice. In the end, he had bad looking wounds. An accident, twice. And this is what I made. Because of the speed, even a small tap could make someone flip over.
An example of how I always cause pain to others out of misjudgement. I reached his speed. So? Does it mean anything now?

From bad blood; under a cursed moonlight.

If only I could have let you known by 9:27 PM

Tuesday, May 22, 2007
Black & White 5 (Denial of connection)

Dunno wat the freaks at the internet place doing. The connection wasnt exactly connected. Just. Disconnected. Couldnt do any shit. Wasn't able to log in to msn. ALL SORTS OF CRAP.

School life. Utterly boring. Apparently common tests are around the corner. Didnt bother to really revise. So YAY gonna fling it all down the drain. I dunno. Sick and tired of this pretty much *NO LIFE* life.

Well at least there's a camp this Fri-Sat in ZSS. Point is it clashed with my NP activity. So, which to go? Well guess I go for both and torture the lights out of myself and everyone around me. Was antipicating the camp. And there came along my CCA. Clash. Didnt noe wat do to LOL. Stuck again. Well, at least I got songs for DTX MANIA. Learning how to play eight keys and more on the V3 one. More challenging. Excludes bass drum. Too much for me.

Latest craze for me on my laptop:DTX MANIA
Songs on it I playing more often now:
Style ~Get glory in this hand~
Ichirin no Hana
Hikari E
Cage
Rolling Star

As usual, anything look for me. My handphone has been pronounced dead lately.
Till next time, seeyaall.

The forbidden cries haunts.

If only I could have let you known by 9:53 PM

Monday, May 21, 2007
Dark side of the universe 5

Got bored again. Was around ppl's chatbox.. Saw some "bu yao lian" the comments. but didnt bother to tag of anything. Wasnt my problem. Having a bad mood. The ulcer beneath my lips made it worse. "I don't need this kind of kindness" I thought. Doesnt make a difference. The world has changed once more. Another phase skipped. Laptop running out of battery. Randomness. Just feel like getting back what is missing for years.
But I can't.
Coz, I lack to ability to do so.

Spare me this kindness, show the true face of terror.

If only I could have let you known by 6:39 PM

Sunday, May 20, 2007
Individual Thoughts

i've been a disappointment since the start of time haven i?
Late night post. Feeling rather tired tonight. Had a rather good day going crazy just now. Just.. i dunno. Weird? Still remember wy saying i'm all too negative. As if. Just have to face the truth and forget it isnt it? Tommorow is another day where i slog my life out again. In any case, nights to the world which doesnt give a single damn.

I know it so well, it really stings

If only I could have let you known by 12:48 AM